Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves Long Distance? - Lifelong Partnership (2024)

Any type of relationship is challenging, but long-distance relationships have whole new challenges attached to them.

The fact that you are not always with this individual can lead to a lot of anxiety and stress, especially when they’re leaving. So why do you cry when your boyfriend leaves to go back home while you live far away?

On a scientific level, hormones released into your body, like oxytocin and vasopressin, help build attachments and are attached to the reward-related areas in our brain. So when the individual leaves, it’s like you are deprived of those hormones.

On a mental level, not being able to have the person you love close to you at all times can be quite taxing on your emotional health. But let’s take a deep dive into why this happens, if it’s healthy, and ways you can help combat this separation anxiety.

Is it Normal to Cry When Your Long Distance Boyfriend Leaves?

It is very normal that when you are dealing with a long-distance boyfriend, and you have spent some time together, and it’s time for him to go, you’re going to cry.

This is because the release of certain hormones in your body triggers an emotional reaction to not having someone you want to be.

That means that it is perfectly OK for you to cry when they leave. There is nothing abnormal about this; unless it affects your everyday life for days, let yourself feel that feeling.

Is it Normal to Miss Your Boyfriend All the Time?

It is especially normal to miss your boyfriend all the time when you aren’t with them in close proximity.

If, on the other hand, they’re there all the time and you miss them for simple things like when they go out with friends for a few hours, then it may become an issue, and it shows that there may be unhealthy attachment styles within the relationship.

But as we said, in relation to a long-distance relationship, it is perfectly normal for you to be sad and a little upset when they leave. In between visits, you will naturally miss this person.

How Do You Cope With Missing Your Partner?

No matter what type of relationship you’re in, there’s gonna be times when you miss your partner. Doing this obsessively, though, can be unhealthy, so having the skills to cope with the missing partner is very helpful.

So we thought we’d put together a couple of suggestions for you that might help you cope with missing your partner, whether they live 2 miles or 200 miles away.

The best way to do this is to make sure you keep your mind busy, so here are three ways you can cope with missing your partner:

  • Schedule time with your family and friends. By keeping your mind and body active with your family and friends, you may find you have less time to dwell on the absence of your partner.
  • Start a new hobby or maybe devote more time to your current hobbies. Allowing yourself to do things you love while keeping your mind busy will help you cope with the fact that your partner is not there with you.
  • Have you been meaning to start a new workout routine? Or maybe beginning to meditate? Finding ways to distract yourself with exercise or mindfulness activities can help you get healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Why Do You Get Anxiety When Your Boyfriend Leaves?

Having the tools to cope with it won’t help unless you understand why you get anxious when your boyfriend leaves to go home. There are a lot of reasons why adults in relationships have separation anxiety. Here are a few of the most common:

  • During childhood, you may have developed anxious attachment issues due to traumatic situations or the way you were raised.
  • A lot of people develop trauma responses when they have had huge losses or changes in their life.
  • Mental health issues like codependence could be involved in the anxiety you feel. You may feel that you must be with your partner at all times, which could cause anxiety, especially in a long-distance relationship.
  • Perhaps you’ve had struggles within your relationship or past relationships that have created trauma responses like separation anxiety or fear of not knowing what is going on at the other end of the long-distance relationship at all times.

How Do You Get Over Separation Anxiety With Your Long-Distance Boyfriend?

When your boyfriend doesn’t live close to you, and there are periods of time we don’t see each other, there’s bound to be some sadness and tears shed because you don’t have the person you love near you.

But separation anxiety can cause a lot of mental and even physical health issues, so trying to figure out how to lessen it or get rid of it all together could be a life-saving skill.

Here are a few ways that you can start trying to overcome this anxiousness when your long-distance boyfriend leaves:

  • Allow yourself to feel the emotions so that you can acknowledge and accept them.
  • Odds are you’ve gone through this several times before, and you know what’s going to happen. So plan ahead and really try to build communications into helping you cope with not having them close by.
  • It’s always nice to keep things that remind you of them near you no matter what, but when you’re trying to cope with separation anxiety, this could help you alleviate some of that.
  • Try to keep yourself busy doing things that you love. When you’re happy, your body releases certain hormones, and this can come back. The other hormones are being released that cause anxiety and stress, which is what causes separation anxiety and those tears.

Final Thoughts on Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves Long Distance

A long-distance relationship can be very challenging but worth it if you truly are enamored or in love with the other individual.

However, you have to expect some sort of sadness and anxiety when you are apart because your mind, body, and heart all want to be with them all the time.

So crying when your boyfriend leaves to go home is quite normal. However, you don’t want it to take over your life and so to have the skills to be able to cope with your relationship but maintain your mental health.

Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves Long Distance? - Lifelong Partnership (2024)

FAQs

Is it normal to cry when your long distance partner leaves? ›

Being away from someone you love can be nerve-wracking. It's only natural to feel sad when you're not with your partner.

Why do I get so emotional when my boyfriend leaves? ›

Separation anxiety is a common childhood disorder but can also be diagnosed in adulthood. If you have an emotional attachment to your partner and have difficulties being away from them, being apart, or even just the thought of it, can feel overwhelming.

Why do I feel disconnected from my long distance partner? ›

The emotional impact of distance can be profound. Not being able to see or touch your partner regularly can lead to feelings of isolation and longing. The lack of physical presence can leave you feeling emotionally disconnected and empty. Understanding and accepting these emotions can help you navigate through them.

Is it normal to cry when you miss your long distance boyfriend? ›

There is of course a difference between missing your partner and feeling a little sad about it and depression. You can even cry about it and still not be depressed. It is true that even close distance couples get sad when they have to be apart from their partner.

Why does it hurt so much when your partner leaves you? ›

Going through a breakup is experiencing real loss, and the bigger the love, the connection and the intimacy, the bigger the pain and suffering. This loss can take over your thoughts and emotions and you will most certainly experience grief. You lost a loved one and now there is a void in your life.

Is it normal to feel out of love in a long-distance relationship? ›

Long-distance relationships present unique challenges. If you're in this type of relationship, physical and sexual intimacy may be less common. Long-distance relationships may also cause relationship uncertainty and feelings of loneliness , according to research from 2017.

Why does my heart hurt when my boyfriend leaves? ›

Women are more likely than men to experience sudden, intense chest pain — thought to be a reaction to a surge of stress hormones — that can be caused by an emotionally or physically stressful event. It could be the death of a loved one or a divorce, breakup or physical separation, betrayal or romantic rejection.

Is it normal to miss your partner all the time? ›

The bottom line

It's normal to miss the people you care about when you can't see them. This particular agony is simply one outcome of the ability to love. Enjoy the moments you spend together, even the quiet ones where nothing much happens.

How to deal with long distance relationship sadness? ›

Take some time to reflect on your relationship and see if it is contributing to your general well-being or not. If you find that you are depressed more often than happy, express your feelings to your long-distance partner. If your partner is interested in you and your relationship, they will try to work things out.

Is it normal to lose feelings in a long-distance relationship? ›

It is normal for couples to feel a little distant and detached when in a long-distance relationship. These feelings also bring a few doubts as to whether they are with 'the one', and if their significant other is 'worth waiting for', or is 'feeling the same way'.

How to know if a relationship is over? ›

Lack of emotional connection

While lack of intimacy is an obvious sign of relationship deterioration, this also applies to emotional intimacy. If you're no longer excited to be with someone or lack any curiosity to know your partner on a deeper level, it suggests a decline in compatibility.

How to deal with longing in a long-distance relationship? ›

5 Ways to Cope With Feelings of Longing
  1. Spend More Time With Friends. ...
  2. Stay Busy. ...
  3. Look at the Bright Side. ...
  4. Figure Out What to Accept and What to Change. ...
  5. Find New Ways to Stay in Touch.
Nov 27, 2023

Why am I crying because I miss my boyfriend? ›

Crying is a natural expression of emotions, not always negative. Feeling underloved, insecure, or missing the early days of the relationship can trigger tears. Love and deep emotional connections can also lead to crying. It's normal to cry from love, reflecting intense emotional investment.

What to do after long distance boyfriend leaves? ›

11 Postive Things to Do When You Miss Your Long Distance...
  • Explore your city for a great distraction.
  • Keep yourself busy with work or school.
  • Spend time around friends and family.
  • Join a group or club to meet new people.
  • Get physically active to improve your mental health.
  • Prioritize self-care.

Can long distance destroy relationships? ›

Does distance ruin relationships? Distance can, unfortunately, ruin some relationships. Partners need physical time together, especially if one partner has a strong need for physical affection. If relationships are not meeting the needs of one or both partners, they can fail quickly.

What to do when your long-distance partner leaves? ›

Plan Time to Feel the Feelings

It's important to give yourself time to feel the feelings that come up after your partner leaves. Set aside some time to cry, journal, or simply be alone with your thoughts. Acknowledge that these feelings are valid and that it's okay to feel them.

Why do I get upset when my partner goes out? ›

Many of us (men and women alike) struggle with this. Perhaps you've been betrayed in the past and worry that he'll do the same, maybe you feel lonely in general, maybe you're struggling with insecurity and fear that he'll find someone else.

Is it normal to lose feelings during long-distance? ›

It's easy to start losing interest when you've been in a long-distance relationship for some time. If this happens, it will help if you know who is losing interest and why. Losing interest in a long-distance relationship is expected after being in this type of relationship for too long.

Why do I want to cry when someone leaves? ›

The most likely source of your goodbye crying is “emotional memory“. The brain stores both the details of an experience and the emotions experienced at the time. Once an emotional memory is made, any similar event can act as a trigger and recall the memory and the emotions of long ago.

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