Marilu Henner remembers everything. With prompting, the former sitcom star even started recalling a semi-public 1995 disagreement with a now ex-husband who was in Minnesota directing "D3: The Mighty Ducks." Henner didn't have time to completely rewind her brain's hard drive to relive that exchange -- although I thought I heard her mind whirring -- when we met at Mall of America ahead of an autograph session for her latest book, "Total Memory Makeover." The New York Times bestselling author is one of 12 people in the world documented to have what's known as highly superior autobiographical memory. She is a consultant on the CBS show "Unforgettable," starring Poppy Montgomery, who plays Carrie Wells, a detective with total recall. On my startribune.com/video you'll see that Henner's also got an unforgettably sexy walk reminiscent of her dance background. It's evocative of how Linda Gray (of "Dallas" fame) and Lisa Rinna (famous for her Depends ad) both roll -- and probably Marilyn Monroe before them, but I never saw her.
Q I've been watching your TV interviews as you promote this book. Aren't you about due for a meltdown prompted by interviewers trying to stump you by asking: What happened on this date?
A [Laughter] That's so funny. Well, what's been interesting about this whole thing is sometimes they ask me the same date, out of nowhere, and I have to say, "So-in-So asked me that." I don't want [viewers] to think my publicist said, Only ask her this date. What's been very interesting about talking about memory so much is that when they give me a date and I tell them in the moment, "This is when this happened" or whatever, later on I'm still thinking about that date, so the time traveling continues [for me]. Yesterday in Chicago someone picked a date that was kind of a disturbing day for me. Turned out it was her wedding day. So I don't know if it was disturbing for her or not, but for me it was kind of like, "Whoa!" It stayed with me the rest of the day.
Q This looks like a self-imposed burden to me.
A Oh, no, not at all. Burden? Are you kidding? I know you five minutes and I could tell you've lived a fabulous life. And I'm sure if you did some of the exercises, so many of your memories would come back, and why wouldn't you want to remember every little detail in your life so it was available for you to draw on at a moment's notice? It's such a great gift I feel, not a burden at all. It informs so many of my decisions. It's a great way to keep everything in my life very present and available to me. And let's face it, everything's on your hard drive anyway.
Q You know, "I don't recall" is not an available excuse when you're giving a deposition or testifying in court.
A Oh, no, not at all. In fact, two major cases were thrown out because of my depositions. Because they said, OK, she's not on our side. There's no way we're going to fight this memory of hers because it's so detailed.
Q Tell me more.
A Well, I don't want to go into the details. But you can be sure that next year on "Unforgettable," Poppy's character Carrie Wells will [do something] and therefore we'll see this kind of memory at work.
Q Do you ever misplace your keys around the house?
A Yes. I'll be like, "Where are my keys?" And then I'll go [she made noises as though rotating through a card index file]. I just kind of retrace my steps and there it is.
Q What can't you remember?
A I don't know that there's anything I can't remember. I haven't been asked and quizzed on every single day of my life. There's never been a day that I've been asked [about] that I couldn't [recall]. Some days are so immediately there, it's like boom, and some days I might have to back into the memory a little bit because it's a little fuzzier, or sometimes it takes a little bit longer. But it's usually almost instantaneous.
Q My mother recalls phone numbers she dials just once. And you?
A She probably is very good at sequencing. I associate numbers with dates. I tell a story in the book about a friend of mine whose last four digits are 4780. Every time I call her I think about this fabulous birthday party I went to on April 7, 1980, which was a Monday.
Q Can your gift be used for blackjack or other games of chance?
A It's not counting cards. It's not mathematical. It's not photographic. I was always good at card games that you actually had to hold in your hands because there's something about being connected to them. In January 1985, in fact, my last day of shooting was Valentine's Day — it was on a Thursday that year — I played an ex-showgirl-turned-blackjack dealer. I had to go to blackjack school. I learned everything about the game. After that I said, "I'm never gambling again." Because the house always wins.
Q Is there a dating experience you wish you could erase?
A Well, not so much from my memory but maybe from my résumé. [Laughter.] A couple of those days were good red flag warning days for me to say: "OK, maybe I'm not going to go down this path again." And it's funny. Both of them were blind dates, and both of them were doctors. Isn't that funny?
Q Do you think you have too many from which to choose?
A Bad dates? Oh no. I've got so many wonderful boyfriends in my past. But I'm now with the love of my life, so it's OK.
Q Took you three tries?
A I took my three tries. But I've known this one [Michael] since I was 18. We just weren't ready for each other yet.
Q Was your marriage to second husband director Rob Lieberman going through a transition when he was in Minnesota shooting "The Mighty Ducks: III"?
A I was pregnant with our son Joey; also our son Nick had just turned a year old. I was also shooting a movie in Toronto at the time. So I came here for like a week and then I went to Toronto for five weeks and then I came back here. He [Lieberman] was not feeling very well. He was having a tough time with shingles and things like that at that time. So, why? Did you see us fighting or something?
Q A friend of mine did and told me: Oh, I think that marriage is in trouble.
A That's so funny. Oh my gosh. That's so interesting. That was 1995. We didn't split up until 2001. Yeah, we were having a tough time. She was right. [They remain good friends.]
Q What will you best remember about this interview?
A I think your shirt. You look great. That's a great color.
C.J.'s Q&As are edited for length and clarity. C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS, cj@startribune.com and on Fox 9, where last week she wore the shirt referenced by Henner — a pumpkin color shirt with white cuffs and collar.
Q Aren't you about due for a meltdown provoked by interviewers trying to stump you by asking: What happened on this date?
A That's so funny. What's been very interesting about talking about memory so much is that when they give me a date and I tell them in the moment, "This is when this happened" or whatever, later on I'm still thinking about that date, so the time traveling continues [for me]. Yesterday in Chicago someone picked a date that was kind of a disturbing day for me. Turned out it was her wedding day. So I don't know if it was disturbing for her or not, but for me it was kind of like, "Whoa!"
Q This looks like a self-imposed burden to me.
A Oh, no, not at all. Burden? Are you kidding? I know you five minutes and I could tell you've lived a fabulous life. And I'm sure if you did some of the exercises, so many of your memories would come back, and why wouldn't you want to remember every little detail in your life so it was available for you to draw on at a moment's notice? It's such a great gift I feel. It informs so many of my decisions. It's a great way to keep everything in my life very present and available to me.
Q You know, "I don't recall" is not an available excuse when you're testifying in court.
A Oh, no, not at all. In fact, two major cases were thrown out because of my depositions. Because they said, OK, she's not on our side. There's no way we're going to fight this memory of hers because it's so detailed.
Q Tell me more.
A Well, I don't want to go into the details. But you can be sure that next year on "Unforgettable," Poppy's character, Carrie Wells, will [do something] and therefore we'll see this kind of memory at work.
Q Do you ever misplace your keys around the house?
A Yes. I just kind of retrace my steps and there it is.
Q My mother recalls phone numbers she dials just once. And you?
A She probably is very good at sequencing. I associate numbers with dates.
Q Can your gift be used for blackjack or other games of chance?
A It's not counting cards ... mathematical ... photographic. I was always good at card games that you actually had to hold in your hands because there's something about being connected to them. In January 1985, in fact, my last day of shooting was Valentine's Day -- it was on a Thursday that year -- I played an ex-showgirl-turned-blackjack dealer. I had to go to blackjack school. I learned everything about the game. After that I said, "I'm never gambling again." Because the house always wins.
Q Is there a dating experience you wish you could erase?
A Well, not so much from my memory but maybe from my résumé. [Laughter.] A couple of those days were good red flag warning days for me: "OK, maybe [I shouldn't] go down this path again." And it's funny. Both of them were blind dates, and both of them were doctors.
Q Was your marriage to second husband director Rob Lieberman going through a transition when he was in Minnesota shooting "The Mighty Ducks"?
A I was pregnant with our son Joey; also our son Nick had just turned a year old. I was also shooting a movie in Toronto at the time. So I came here for like a week and then I went to Toronto for five weeks and then I came back here. He [Lieberman] was not feeling very well. ... So, why? Did you see us fighting or something?
Q A friend of mine did and told me: Oh, I think that marriage is in trouble.
A That's so funny. Oh my gosh. That's so interesting. That was 1995. We didn't split up until 2001. Yeah, we were having a tough time. She was right.
Q&As are edited for length and clarity. C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS, cj@startribune.com and on FOX 9.
